


Just Needed to See You Again

by amyaims



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira hate fucks Ryo, Anal Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Blow Jobs, Choking, Fighting, Hate Sex, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lovesickness, M/M, NOT a healthy relationship or dynamic, Name-Calling, Rough Sex, Ryo goes along with it just to be with him, Unhealthy Relationships, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Violence, bust a nut and off he strut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:09:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26387716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyaims/pseuds/amyaims
Summary: Humanity destroyed themselves. The demons had won and took over the earth with Satan in charge.Akira, in search of any surviving humans, traverses crumbling cities and destroyed landscapes, annihilating any demons in his way.Finally finding his long lost love, Satan confronts him for the first time since their battle in which Akira’s life was spared. He is still hopelessly and sickly enamored by his childhood friend and, despite knowing how hated he is, Satan is determined to stay with Akira for just a bit longer no matter the cost.
Relationships: Asuka Ryo | Satan & Fudo Akira, Asuka Ryo | Satan/Fudo Akira
Comments: 13
Kudos: 199





	Just Needed to See You Again

**Author's Note:**

> Amon: Apocalypse of Devilman
> 
> VERY different from my usual content. Read the warning tags before jumping into this fic, please! Can be very graphic! You have been warned!

Akira wasn’t sure how long it had been since the world was plunged into chaos. Since humanity lost. Since his family was brutally slaughtered. He figured it might’ve been a few weeks, maybe months. It wasn’t easy to tell the passage of time as the sky now only held a sickly red color as if a dying flame burned behind the dingy grays and blacks of the clouds, but he knew better. Just because humanity was wiped out, he shouldn’t expect the sun to disappear. No, the star still burned bright beyond his reach somewhere and the world continued to spin. All he knew at this moment in time was that he was alive. To his knowledge, he was all that was left of mankind. All that was left of the devilman army; the final resistance against Satan and his demons. Hope no longer was housed in his heart or soul — hell, both of those were probably gone too — but something kept him pushing through and surviving. Something drowning in his subconscious. Perhaps, as much as he denied it to himself, he still feared death.

As that final thought crossed his mind, he removed his hand from the mangled corpse, a gaping hole where his fist went straight through. He flicked the blood from his hands, a filthy cesspool of colors splattering the ground where the rest of the demon hoard laid, all dead, brutally decapitated and their bodies torn asunder.

“You’ve grown stronger,” said a soft voice sounding behind him a distance, but he didn’t turn. Instead, he stood silently, his face focusing ahead, away from the familiar tone. “I can only assume you’ve subdued Amon, as I anticipated, and even made his power your own.”

Akira was silent. He briefly recalled after his battle with Amon for total control that he had grown stronger, faster, and even adopted some new abilities. In the end though, he had had incredible powers that now came as second nature. All that power was his to control and wield and use them against Satan and his demons that now inhabited this forsaken rock in space. As Akira began to take a step away, Satan spoke.

“Tell me, Akira. What do you plan on doing with it, that power? Do you plan on wiping out group after group of demons until there are no more? Sure, you may take out hundreds in a day, maybe more, but you couldn’t possibly believe you’ll win. There will always be demons, Akira. This has been their world since the beginning and it has fallen into their hands in the end. As the saying goes, ‘as it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be.’ Did you not utter those very words in your house of God as a boy?”

Akira spun quick and without warning, his arms outstretched as he hurled a beam of light from between his palms and at Satan, cutting the air with a hot hiss.

The fallen angel deflected it effortlessly with a simple flick of the wrist, his stature unwavering as the slightest bit of a smirk began to poison his expression. “Hello Akira.” His emerald green eyes shone in contrast to the sky behind him, his wings adorning his head and blossoming from his back an almost blinding gold. There was no denying it. Satan was beautiful.

His dark brows furrowed in the direction of the Demon King, his shoulders squaring when he noticed the numerous demons behind him, all disgusting and grotesque in nature.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,” Satan practically sang sounding almost relieved. There was no sound as he took a few steps closer to the half demon. No sound of the grinding rubble beneath his bare feat or the press of the cold, long-abandoned road. It was as though he was floating or perhaps the earth was too scared to utter its discomfort. “How are you holding up now that humanity has been destroyed? You did seem awfully attached.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he growled in defiance, his eyes piercing.

Satan ceased his walking as he stood tens of feet away from the other. “Why are you still so cold towards me?”

Akira passed him a glare that shot across the distance between them like an arrow. “I have nothing to say to you.”

The angel’s green eyes widened when he saw Akira turn away from him again and start to walk.  
“So you’re going to leave me again? Just like you did all that time ago?”

Akira didn’t speak but there was hesitation in his next movement and that was enough to encourage Satan to continue talking, closing the distance even tighter.

“I’ve been searching for you. Ever since we parted ways, I’ve actively looked for you. I was hoping more than anything that I’d see you again and here you are in peak condition.“ He reached his arms out to hold him now that he was close enough but before his fingers could even touch Akira, he was thrown to the ground.

Above him, Akira had one hand clasped around his neck, tightly squeezing Satan in place on the ground while his other arm was drawn back and ready to inflict the first blow. At the eager and sudden stirring of the distant demons who had followed his lead to this location, Satan calmly raised a gentle hand to halt the incoming attack before looking back up at Akira.

“What will you do?”

Akira heard him ask through a strained breath. Despite the constricted windpipe, the angel still wore the most gentle expression. Combine that and all his wings spread beneath him, he looked divine. Truly, he must have been God’s favorite. He used to be Akira’s favorite.

“You know you can’t kill me. You’ve tried in the past. Even with your new powers, you cannot inflict any wounds on me, nor pain,” Satan spoke admonishingly before adding, “not while in my true form.”

His grip tightened as he cocked his free hand back further in a fist, jostling his captive by the throat. “Then by all means. Change!”

The angel with painted gold wings brought his hand up and gently clasped onto Akira’s hand. It was the first time in a long while that he felt the warmth of another body. “What will you do, Akira? Will you kill me then?” He watched silently for a reply but all he got was an irritated pull at the boy’s already pained expression.

Akira’s body trembled, his rage struggling to get the best of him. The demon he tamed crawled beneath his skin and itched to come out. He wanted nothing more than to rip Satan’s pretty little throat from his body. His skin paled and changed in color and texture as he morphed into his form of the devil he merged with. Dark black wings ripped from his back before launching the two of them off the ground, Akira’s claws still locked around Satan and dragging him through the air. After only a few strong wingbeats, they were in a wooded area; small secluded hills that still remained green despite the apocalypse in full swing just beyond its boarders. The two hurled themselves towards the ground, Akira’s hand releasing its hold to send Satan falling shoulders first to the untouched floor of the woods like a rogue missile while the devilman landed strongly on his two feet. He walked towards the now dirtied angel, his yellow eyes narrowed and his shoulders square, expecting a fight.

Satan sat up slowly but effortlessly from the ground, his body weightlessly lifting itself to place him on equal footing as he looked at the other with a blank expression.

“You took everything from me,” his voice boomed across the soil. “You took it and destroyed it!”

It fell silent until Satan spoke. “I did.”

Fueled by the admittance, Akira hurled himself with incredible speed towards him and spun fast, the top of his foot colliding with Satan’s face and shooting him away only to peruse him still. “After everything I had done for you!” Akira screamed as his fist made powerful contact with the other square in the chest, sending him to the ground in a fraction of a second.

The ground gave way but the angel had not a single bruise. The half-devil landed above him, his legs spread in authority before leaning down and yanking Satan up by the wings on his head.

”I followed you blindly! I trusted you! You were everything to me!”

He pulled the fallen angel from beneath him, over his head and slammed him into the ground. “This world we grew up in together has become nothing at your tainted hands!” He then grabbed him by the ankles and pitched him through a large stretch of trees, the wood snapping in half.

“Had I meant nothing to you, you could’ve saved time for the both of us.”

Satan laid in the dirt, waiting for the next blow but it never came. His green eyes flicked over to Akira in the dark, seeing tears running down his lavender cheeks.

“But worst of all... you took him from me.”

“Who?” Something inside the angel’s chest pulled at the image he saw before him.

He bared his teeth, sharp fangs poking out under his snarled expression. “Ryo, you son of a bitch!”

Satan’s face dropped. “No. Akira, I’m still Ryo,” he began explaining but was silenced with a clawed hand around his mouth, holding his head.

“Don’t give me that shit! Ryo would have never done this! He never would have killed so many people! He never wanted to hurt me, especially the way you have! I can never forgive you!”

It was the first time since they met again that Satan finally raised a hand at Akira. He lifted his hand and turned his palm towards Akira in a delicate manner before an invisible force shoved Akira back to allow the two of them space as Satan stood to his feet and faced him. “I understand it can still be difficult for you to grab at the concept but I am Ryo. I’m still him.”

Akira regained his position and charged at him yet again, being deflected once more with the same blunt shockwave from the power of the angel’s one hand that knocked the breath from him.

“I still possess his memories, his feelings, and his thoughts because they were mine all along. To cast aside the actuality of it and replace it with a lie simply because it is easier for you to process and grasp is to deny his existence in the first place.”

Akira raised himself off the ground on all fours, swallowing down air to replenish his lungs.

“I know that you understand that somewhere deep down inside you. You know he never left you and despite you claiming adoration for him, you continue to attack him as he stands in front of you.” Satan’s bright golden wings began to dim, the large outline falling away, the numerous feathers shedding like leaves until nothing was left on his back. His chest, which previously had a soft pair of breasts, receded to a toned chest. All the foreign features he had before Akira faded until Ryo stood before him, his whole body bared for him to see and, in comparison, looking almost frail and too delicate to be in such a cruel world. “I’ve never left you, Akira. I’m still the same Ryo you grew up with. You so much as even admitted it while you were screaming at me earlier.”

Satan — no — Ryo stepped closer, twigs and leaves cracking beneath his bare feet. He knelt before Akira as though he was royalty, baring his neck.

“Akira, you may not believe me but I do love you.”

The purple demon before Ryo somewhat receded into a mix between him and Akira. “If you had, you wouldn’t have done this to me. Even now, you regret none of it.”

Ryo tilted his head back down to look at Akira for a while, his heart swelling with being so close without violence. Then guilt pulled his gaze away and into the dark forest. “I do regret. Maybe not leading humanity to their demise but I do believe looking back made me realize that I could’ve done it in a better way. Perhaps you and I could’ve done it together.” He turned back and was greeted with Akira’s horrified expression melting into rage yet again. “I never wanted to hurt you. Surely you can understand that,” he quietly tried to console him before his face was slapped away. This time, when Akira grabbed for his throat, the blonde gasped and began sputtering as his legs kicked him up to stand before being lifted away from the grounds support. Both hands clasped on Akira’s one wrist to try and pry him off and get air down his wind pipe.

Whether it was the image of his dearest friend choking to death or surprise at getting a reaction of some sort, Akira released him, throwing him aside and letting him cough.

“You claim you didn’t want to hurt me and yet you destroyed my home, left the people I care about to die, and not utter a single apology?”

“Because... I am not sorry... for any of that,” he choked between gasps. “I’m sorry that you’re hurt... but it had to be done.”

Both of Akira’s hands reached up and grabbed the mess of his hair, visible stress and irritation eating him alive. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He knew no words could fix Ryo’s actions but he was grasping onto the hope that there would be something he could use to start redeeming him.

“All of this because demons existed on the Earth before humans?”

“No! All of this because God wiped out the demons for no other reason than to put humans here!” He corrected sternly. “He wiped out an innocent species simply because He saw it fit to do so! Because He could!”

“THEN HOW ARE YOU ANY DIFFERENT?!” Akira’s voice tore the night in half before the world fell silent, the weight of his glare being felt like a physical hindrance.

Ryo’s face was ghostly white with his eyes opened wide. He opened his mouth to reply — multiple times — but not a single word dared to form. He felt Akira’s hands untangle themselves from his hair.

“Have you not wiped out humanity like a vengeful God because you could?! Because you cared so little and saw the humans as insignificant enough to do so?!”

His voice was barely a whisper. “I... I did,” he said as if it was a great revelation.

“You’re acting like a goddamn child! I didn’t know about demons until you told me about them! How could anyone be at fault for our existence when none of us knew the cost?!”

“Humanity wouldn’t care. All animals are self preserving and-.”

“Stop trying to act like you’re in the right when you’re not! You’re just as bad as He is, if not worse!”

Ryo clutched his hand to his chest.

“This isn’t something you can fix. We can’t fix it together. Everything is screwed and it’s all your fucking fault yet you try to justify yourself.”

His voice was broken and barely audible. “I’m self-preserving,” Ryo corrected himself. “But I don’t care about anyone else but you and I preserved you!”

Akira glared at him before turning his body away. “And what good did that do anyone, huh?”

“I did it for you, Akira! I wanted you to live!”

“No, you kept me alive for your own enjoyment. Selfish and self-serving. You’re only using me as a means of keeping yourself sane, if you can call it that.”

Ryo stared at the ground, his mind grasping helplessly for words. When he spoke again, it was soft. “Akira, I... I know you’re angry with me but you can see my reasoning, can’t you?”

“I can but they’re all fucking dumbass reasons so if you’re asking for my pity, you’re not getting any.” His black bat-like wings unfurled from beneath his skin, his tail swishing by his ankles as he readied himself for take off.

“No, wait!” Without a second thought, Ryo threw himself onto the other, desperately holding on to not let him get away. “Please, don’t leave me again!”

Akira shoved Ryo away hard, forcing the blonde to fall back in the dirt, his heels flying over his head from the momentum. After Ryo peeled himself off the ground, he looked back up at Akira in a panic. He could see that just beneath his golden hair was a scratch that slowly began to trickle blood. What Satan said earlier about being susceptible to wounding while in this mortal form was right. It was possible. Easy, even.

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again. My chest aches terribly when you’re away!”

Akira watched as tears began to form at the corner of those beautiful emerald eyes, watched as they began running down his reddened cheeks. Something within him leapt at how Ryo was finally feeling even a fraction of what he felt when he had lost everything. If given the opportunity, he too would have groveled in place of the death of his family. He wouldn’t even have questioned how it looked, what self respect would have been left behind, how pathetic he was — there’s no doubt he’d look just as disgusting and worthless as Ryo did now, kneeling with his fingers clawing into the soil and unearthing the bugs that crawled beneath it.

“I’ll make it worth your while just— please! I beg of you! Don’t leave me again!”

Nothing Ryo could do at this point would not be a waste of time. Although he wasn’t in a hurry, Akira still was livid with him and would rather not stick around and yet, he bit. “How could you possibly?”

“Please, come with me,” he beseeched. “No harm will come of you as long as you’re with me.”

Akira scoffed, raising his voice, “As if your demons are a threat to me. Don’t you have any idea how many of their miserable heads I’ve torn off? That massacre you saw earlier was nothing to me. Besides, I don’t need your assurance. Just who do you think you are to me anymore?”

“Okay, you’re right! You can handle yourself. Forgive me,” he rushed in fear of him leaving, still kneeling before the other. “Please allow me to lead the way.”

His deep brown eyes lingered on the frail naked form at his feet.

“I’ll give you this opportunity just once.”

Ryo knelt upright, wiping up any other tears on his face. He stayed there for a moment as if mentally confirming Akira’s agreement before standing up, catching his balance as he swayed the tiniest bit.

“Okay.” In a blinding flash of light, all twelve golden wings bloomed from his back, his lower legs and his head. He held out his hand for Akira to take, getting ready to lead him to their destination. When it was pushed away, he swallowed down the discomfort that pulled at him and rose off of the ground. Despite his numerous wings, he didn’t seem to need them as he practically floated, his legs tucking up at the lack of weight.

Akira followed him, his leathery wings giving a few strong kicks to get him off the dirt in pursuit of the angel. He followed closely behind, beating his wings to keep up with the other.

It wasn’t all that long of silent flying until Ryo guided him down to another abandoned city, different from the last one. Most of the buildings were still standing but were long forgotten and quickly aged. Weathered away by both natural and unnatural forces of nature, demons, and humans alike, there was one that was in better shape than the rest of them. Although missing a few windows and the edges of the building crumbling away, it still stood, its tall silhouette against the never ending sky. One thing that stuck out in Akira’s mind in particular was how this place seemed dead — uninhabited by demons, that is. The streets weren’t crowded with their bloodthirsty battles nor were there human bodies left behind to clutter its ground. The two landed at the foot of this building, one more graceful than the other.

“There’s no need to be guarded. There are no demons here. This place I left off limits to their gallivanting,” he spoke matter of factly as his feathers fell away like before, his mortal body standing in place. “Please allow me to guide you in.”

Akira, after a few reluctant moments of silence, gave in. The claws and dark shell-like armor of his skin on the lower half of his body and on his arms below his elbow sunk back into his skin. His tail shrunk back into his lower back and his wings receded as well, leaving the two of them completely vulnerable for the time being.

Ryo stepped in the entry way and proceeded deeper into the building. Once inside, Akira could identify what it had been before. Between the dirtied desk claiming to be there for reception and the worn chairs haphazardly placed around the marble floor, it was most likely once a hotel. A high end one, at that. Along with the marble floor, there was a large chandelier that, although dimmed and covered in cobwebs, still miraculously clung to the ceiling. The pillars of the lobby had been carved with incredible amounts of care with the ashen fireplace reflecting that same meticulousness in its mantel.

Ryo still walked him forward and turned the corner to reach the buildings stairs that led them up to the mezzanine. “We’ll take the stairs. As you can probably guess, the elevators don’t work here anymore.”

“And whose fault is that?”

He didn’t reply verbally but nodded to show his words didn’t fall on deaf ears. Instead, he opened a door to the buildings staircase. “The third floor,” he sighed as he began walking up them.

Once Akira stepped out from the staircase and into the hall, it took him a moment. The halls were still covered in beautifully intricate red carpeting with dizzying designs sewn in like some tapestry. The shimmering yellow and silver wallpaper was only just beginning to peel away. Every few doors down was an ornate table that held up varying vases, all with withered plants crowning the tops. It was the best kept location he had seen in a very long time.

“Akira,” came Ryo’s soft voice.

He walked up, standing by his side in front of one of the hotel doors. With bated breath, Akira twisted the handle and opened the door, the two of them making their way inside.

It was dim, the outside bathing the room in a red tint. The hotel room, which was rather large, held a small kitchen and a gathering space. Naturally, Akira looked around for any threats. He checked the cupboards, the empty fridge, behind and under the couches and coffee table to see them vacant. Ryo simply stood off to the side and watched him silently.

“You said this would be worth my time but if this is all you have, you better think again.”

“This isn’t it,” he said before walking to a door in the corner and making his way inside.

Hesitantly, Akira followed him into the bedroom. There was only one king sized bed inside with heavy sheets draping the mattress, which he could only assume was comfortable beyond belief. Four bed posts held up a canopy with golden tassels hanging from it. He made his way to the closet and opened it up to see if anything was lurking inside but was greeted with different outfits, similar in both style and size as the clothes he usually wears.  
“What the hell is this?” he questioned, turning to Ryo before shutting up.

Ryo was turned away from him, tying something behind the back of his neck before turning back around to face Akira. He drank up the sight of those dark brown eyes widening at the sight of him. If there was one way to get the focus on what he has instead of what he lost, this was how to do it.

“What are you planning?” Akira lowly questioned as if Ryo putting on that black choker was a threat.

“I said I’d make our time together worthy of your attention.” He sat down on the bed, his hands gently straightening out the sheets beside him. “You can use me like you used to. Abuse me and-“

“You brought me over here just so we could have sex?! Are you a fucking idiot?! What makes you think I’d even want to have sex with you?!” Akira yelled with rage. With disgust. “You think you could get me off and we’d be all buddy-buddy again?! Don’t tell me you’re that fucking stupid!”

Ryo was frozen. Had all this preparation really been for nothing? Telling the demons this place was off limits, clearing out the corpses and even prettying up this room for Akira’s approval... was it all a fruitless act? A desperate attempt? What was he missing?

“You’re pathetic.” Akira turned to leave and, once again, Ryo’s body acted before he could think, jumping up from the bed and grabbing Akira’s hand to stop him.

The blond was spun quickly, his body being pressed into the wall by Akira restraining him. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me!” he snarled in his ear.

“Don’t leave..!” He yelped in pain when Akira pressed him into the wall even harder.

“If you’re so desperate for company, why don’t you have one of your ‘precious’ demons help you, hmm?”

“I’ve told them to leave this area alone. There are no devils here for miles. Besides, I only want you! I’ve only ever wanted you!”

Akira released his hold, grabbing a fist full of his golden hair and casting him away, the boy stumbling to regain his footing only to fail and fall backwards on the bed.

“Akira, please..! It’s been so long since we were together. I want to feel you against my skin again. I want you to fill all my senses until I’m drowning in you.”

Akira grabbed Ryo by the jaw, lifting his upper body off the bed and close to his face. “Groveling isn’t very becoming of an angel,” he mocked with a hiss.

“I don’t care. If that’s what it takes to have you, I’ll do it.”

Suddenly, Ryo was shoved on the bed, Akira’s hand pressing into his throat while he straddled above him in a display of dominance. He dipped his head down so it was right by his ear as he snarled. “You’re gonna have to do more than grovel to keep me from leaving.”

Ryo’s eyes were locked on Akira’s face as he backed up. Those bright emeralds traveled across his face, down to where his toned chest laid and continued down the abs before settling on his crotch. Much to his surprise and relief, he could see very clearly that Akira was getting hard and, with such a view above him, he could feel his own arousal kicking in. How ridiculous the human body was.

Ryo opened his mouth slightly, his tongue poking out as a lewd invitation. He felt Akira release the grip on his soft neck and watched him push himself closer to his face. Both of Ryo’s hands reached up to grab him at the base of his erection, his soft lips kissing the sensitive head before dragging his tongue from front to back. His heart pounded in his chest when he heard the hiss of Akira’s breath, a telltale sign that he was feeling good. He dragged his tongue across him again and retreated to kiss the top again before sinking his mouth on him.

Akira let out a strained groan, one that sounded like it’s been held for years. He reached down to Ryo’s face with both hands and traced them down his cheeks. His fingers gently combed through his beautiful marigold hair, watching him slowly and repeatedly sink down on his length with tears forming. He gently tickled his fingers back behind the blond head before viciously grabbing a fist full of hair and shoving himself all the way down Ryo’s throat. Despite the desperate sputtering for breath as he choked, Akira held him steady against him, completely sheathed in his mouth. He let a filthy moan escape him before releasing Ryo’s head.

He immediately popped off of Akira’s erection, coughing and gagging as spit and drool clung to his lips, tears leaking from his eyes. He gasped and coughed again and again.

“Don’t act so fucking wounded,” he said as he once again cradled Ryo’s cheeks in his hands. “I told you you’re going to have to do a lot more than grovel. Now open up that mouth again and show me how much of a whore you really are.”

Ryo wiped the tears from his eyes as he cleared his throat, opening his mouth yet again to grant him access. He would do whatever he could to make Akira stay even just a bit longer.

“What a filthy little slut,” he growled before he grabbed another fistful of hair and held him. With Ryo’s head immobilized, Akira began bucking into his mouth. “You’re gonna take this like the dick sick bitch you are..!” He groaned in a deep husky tone.

Ryo felt every push Akira made that dared his gag reflex to react. As much as he wanted to, he wouldn’t dare let go unless Akira gave him the space to do so. He had him here and now, and if all he had to do was choke on his arousal then he would do so readily.

After a few particularly violent thrusts, Akira let out a guttural moan, the deep sound crawling its way up his throat and between his clenched teeth as he pressed Ryo back down on his erection. He released rope after rope down in that angel, his hips stuttering to a stop when he finished.

When Ryo felt the other’s grip release, he pulled off of Akira’s length in a fraction of a second, coughing and gasping, dribbling out saliva and cum from his mouth. Every mucus gland on his face was reacting to the brutal assault, his eyes watering, nose running, and his mouth working in overtime to clean itself. He scrambled to wipe up his face for his Akira. Make sure he still looked like the Ryo he knew.

“Lay back for me.” It wasn’t a request. It was a demand.

Ryo coughed again, his hand reaching up to his face to clean his mouth. “What?” his hoarse voice spoke, too raw for it to be any louder than a whisper.

He pointed at the headboard as he dismounted. “I said back the fuck up.”

And he did. Ryo sat upright and pushed himself back on the bed as Akira crawled after him, throwing the other’s slender legs open. He watched as Akira spat into his hand and gave himself a few pumps before lining up. “W-wait, Akira, I-“ he was silenced by Akira’s hand across his mouth.

“I don’t wanna hear a single word out of you.”

And he complied. He nodded and gripped the sheets in tight fists. He felt the hot press of Akira’s still hard erection at his entrance and watched as he pressed in. He threw his head back, biting his lip to silence a whimper.

Akira released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He had forgotten how amazing Ryo felt around him. He pressed in until he bottomed out. “You’re so fuckin tight, Ryo~” he softly moaned.

At his name, his heart ignited. No, not just his name but the compliment too. Akira had just complimented him and it was probably the nicest thing he’s said since the last time they met and he said it with the most delicate expression written across his face: bliss. In that moment, he didn’t even notice how his entrance burned with being stretched so suddenly or notice how his throat was sore after being used so unceremoniously. Ryo gazed up at him, questioning how Akira could be so beautiful. “I love you,” Ryo quietly let the phrase go from his mouth.

It was like a switch had been flipped in Akira as his eyes grew wide and distant. One of his hands dropped right down onto his throat, suffocating him with a terrifying amount of strength, ensuring no air could get through. His dark brows pinched downward in a scowl as he bared his sharp teeth and growled. “I said, not a word,” he emphasized.

Instinctively, Ryo’s hands clasped around the wrist under his chin, his legs kicking. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to swallow some air into his lungs. Akira’s dark eyes drifted downward, farther than than he expected, and his body shivered under its weight.

A sadistic smirk split across Akira’s face as if he was sick with disbelief. “Fuck..!” his voice faltered the slightest bit. “Look at you dripping like a bitch. I forgot you like being choked..!” he degraded. “You’re just a filthy little whore, aren’t ya?” Akira spat, finally removing his hand and violently thrusting into him.

Ryo yelped at the harsh intrusion, gagging on air, his legs closing slightly only to be forced open.

“Don’t even think about it,” Akira admonished as he pushed from the back of Ryo’s knees to hike themselves up closer to his sides.

At the new position, Ryo whimpered, a tormented little mewl passing his worried lips.

Akira let out a low groan as he pistoned inside the other. His eyes fluttered closed, head lulling back some as he listened to the melodic calls Ryo made beneath him.

Ryo reached a hand down to touch himself as Akira relentlessly bucked into the used body. He heard the crack before feeling the sting of Akira slapping his hand away. He wanted to apologize for pathetically wanting more than what he was being given and wanted to egg him on and reaffirm that his body only belonged to Akira but he wouldn’t dare speak unless spoken to. He still laid back, his shoulders pressed against the headboard, his knees hauled up with his white knuckled hands desperately holding onto the sheets. He watched hungrily as Akira’s sex disappeared inside of him repeatedly.

“Fuck—!” Akira’s head bowed down and he sucked in a breath, holding it as his expression pulled together. His hips violently rammed into Ryo’s backside, burying himself to the hilt as he came.

Ryo closed his eyes, his head falling back as he felt the warmth inside him spread, a smile twitching its way onto his face. He had Akira flush against his rear, sputtering as he released the results of their love-making deeper and deeper inside him.

Akira stayed there, skin to skin on Ryo, gasping contently as he let go of the others legs.

The pale legs fell to the sides, unashamed by the fact Akira was still lodged inside him.

Akira slowly and agonizingly pulled himself free as Ryo’s own erection twitched with its completion denial. He moved himself away from the blond, sitting on the bed and swinging his legs over the edge of it, standing up and heading towards the closet.

At the sound of the closet door opening, Ryo snapped his head up, watching as Akira pulled out an outfit that was just his fit. “A-Akira..!”

Dark eyes glanced over his muscular shoulder, his brows furrowed.

“You know you can stay here... even if it’s only for tonight, I’d—“

“I’m not staying. Just because we fucked doesn’t mean anything is fixed between us. You just served yourself as my cum dumpster and nothing more.”

Ryo’s hand found itself clutched to his chest as he sat up. “Akira...”

He fixed his shirt as he began walking towards the door, clothed for the first time in a long time after humanity’s fall. Being clothed wasn’t exactly high on the priority list when fighting for your life in the apocalypse.

“Akira, you know I’ve always love you, right?” He stood up, painfully stumbling to follow Akira as he grabbed the door handle. “I’ve done some stupid shit that you don’t agree with but, just know, I’ve never stopped thinking about you.”

Akira froze silently, turned away from him.

“I’ll be here every other moon. Please, if you get the time, come back to me.”

Akira sighed and began closing the door behind him. “Goodbye, Ryo.”

Ryo stood silently in the room, the space unbearably quiet. He slowly limped towards the window, the pain Akira inflicted him with only now becoming a hinderance. He leaned on the windowsill, his green eyes focused on Akira below as he stepped out of the building and took a few paces away. He quickly dropped down to hide when Akira turned to look back momentarily before continuing to walk.

Ryo heard his heart beat in his ears and didn’t take his eyes off of Akira until he was beyond the rubble of the fallen city and out of sight. Ryo stood on shaky legs, moving to the bed and collapsing on it. He rolled on his back, a hand reaching up to trace the location of where Akira’s hands once laid while the other snakes it’s way down his body to finally grasp his arousal with a hiss. With the image of Akira still vivid in his head, he began stroking himself, whispering out Akira’s name.

He left the offer open to Akira to visit him again. Even if Akira would use it as an opportunity to simply use him and abandoned him, he was okay with that. He hoped for anything as long as he could see Akira again. Silently, he prayed that Akira calling Ryo by his name was some indication that he was on the road to earning his forgiveness; although, who he prayed to, he wasn’t sure.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW, what a doozie, huh?
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment. I’m lowkey proud of this fic despite its themes.
> 
> I WELCOME CRITIQUES!!!


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